My Transition to Motherhood

Kate turns nine months old this week.  It is rather mind boggling.  Sometimes it feels like I've been a mom forever, and at the same time, it feels like I'm still brand-new at this.  So, I decided to sit down and write about a few of the things I've learned and a few of the ways I've changed since becoming a mother.

Change #1:  Less consumed with myself.  I might as well just come right out and admit it.  I was probably pretty dang selfish before I had Kate.  And I'm probably only slightly less selfish now, but hey, it's still a big change.  It's actually pretty wonderful being forced to think about someone else and their needs constantly, rather than thinking about yourself and what you want all the time.  And of course, marriage helps with that too, but when it comes right down to it, you can be as selfish (hence the high divorce rate) or as unselfish as you want in marriage.  Not so in parenthood.  And it's actually a beautiful thing.  It's no wonder the Lord wants us to have children - they help us to progress at an infinitely faster rate.  Now don't get me wrong, sometimes it is hard, and sometimes I'm sure I resent it a little, but on the whole I love it and I love how it is changing me.

Lesson #1:  Being a mother has actually really helped me better understand my relationship to Heavenly Father.  I sometimes make the mistake of thinking of God as full of justice, and forget the mercy part of the equation.  Of course, in those instances, I can never measure up, never be perfect enough, or righteous enough, or good enough.  But being a mother has helped me to better understand my Heavenly Father and how He views me.  I don't get upset or angry or frustrated at Kate when she falls down, or when she bonks her head, or when she doesn't know how to clap.  And I have come to understand that Heavenly Father doesn't get angry when I make mistakes, or don't know how to do certain things, or when I'm just learning something.  I believe that He must look down on us and see us more as babies, who are just learning and experiencing and figuring out life.  And more than anything, He wants to help us pick ourselves up, or hold us, or lovingly teach us.  I love that.  And I think that becoming a mother is the only way I truly could have learned that.

Change #2:  Different view of my husband.  Of course I love Dave, I mean, I did marry him.  But I'm not sure I expected that us becoming parents would help me to love him more.  There are two sides to this - first, I think that becoming a parent actually makes you more capable of loving your spouse.  Somehow, when you love your child, it also expands your love for your spouse.  I'm not sure how that works, but it does.  And second, I think that seeing Dave as a dad has helped me to see him in a whole different light, and I love him because of that new role.  I love watching him play with Kate, and kiss her, and cuddle her.  It's so incredible!  I love the dad that Dave is to Kate.

Lesson #2:  Don't sweat the small stuff.  This might be the oldest lesson in the book, but there is a reason it is there.  Sometimes babies spit-up all over their whole outfit right before you were supposed to walk out the door.  What do you do?  Change them and get wherever you were going a little late.  That's life with a baby, and you just have to roll with the punches.  Not to say that I'm perfect at it, it still stresses me out some days, especially depending on what we're late for.  But it is an important lesson to be learned.  Some days you won't get a shower.  Some days the laundry won't get done.  But your family is the most important thing, so cherish them - even in those "moments."  For example, Kate pooped on me when we were getting these pictures taken :)  

Change #3:  Desire to create.  This one was totally unexpected, and it may not be the case for every new mom.  But all of the sudden, I want to MAKE things.  I used to think, "I'll never bake bread, sew, or make cards."  Not only did I not think I could, I didn't WANT to.  But now I do.  I want to make things for Kate, I want to make my home beautiful.  It's the coolest thing, and I love it.  It brought to mind a talk given by President Uchtdorf at the General Relief Society meeting.  Here's what he said, "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty . . . The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."  To read more of the talk, click here!

Well, I don't want to get too long-winded, but it was nice to take the time to sit and reflect and realize what I've learned and how I've changed over these last nine months.  I would love to hear what you've learned and changed since becoming a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, etc!

I'm so lucky that I get to be the mother of this beautiful girl!