Just Call Me Lucy

You may think that looks like Lucy, but it's actually me.  No, really.  I made chocolates.  No, I didn't go to the store, buy some, and say that I made them, I actually did it!  That's my big surprise, and it's one of the reasons I've been a little MIA.

I have to admit, making chocolates has been a life-long dream for me . . . my grandma used to make them when I was young, but she got to the point where it wasn't a physical possibility for her to continue, so I never got the chance to learn from her.  So when I found out that Dave's aunt makes chocolates every year . . . to be honest, that's what sealed the deal for me (just kidding, honey - love you!).

So out of the goodness of her heart wonderful, wonderful Rachelle decided to set aside some time to not only teach me how to make chocolates, but help me.  Did I mention she has 5 kids all under the age of 12?  She's seriously superwoman.  And she makes hundreds, no closer to thousands, of them every year to give away to neighbors and take to family parties and such - and she doesn't even make excuses like December is really busy or my kids don't take naps any more.  She just does it.  Superwoman I tell ya.

Let me tell you about this adventure - not quite over yet, but I was honestly too proud to wait and tell you.

The kind I made is chocolate maple - the fondant is maple, and then it's dipped in chocolate.  Really good chocolate, but we'll get to that part.

First, you bring all the ingredients (lots of good stuff like whipping cream and sugar and such) to a boil until it reaches a certain temperature.

Before you take it off the heat, you have to test it multiples times for the "soft ball" state.  I don't really know what I'm talking about, I'm just using impressive terms so you will be impressed.  Are you impressed?  You should be.

Like so.  

Once it's reached that phase, you pour it out into a large glass pan.

Like so.

Then you let it cool completely - usually in the fridge, or outside if it's cold.

 The next part makes me tired just thinking about it.  It's called "turning" the fondant, and I dare any man who thinks he has legitimate arm muscle to try it.  Basically you just keep the fondant moving - kind of like stirring - but you have to keep it all at the center of the pan.  Keep in mind - it's still soft, so it runs, but it's just hard enough to make your arm ache.  Once your arm has started aching, you have to do it for another 20 minutes.  Rachelle makes 4-5 batches of this stuff every year (plus all the other kinds of candy/chocolate) - are you starting to see why I call her superwoman?

When you're done, it reaches the "hard ball" state -

Like so.  At this point, you add the flavoring.

By this time, you're tuckered out.  You call it a day and hold off on the dipping once you've given your arm all sorts of recovery treatments.

Now we get to the REALLY good part.

CHOCOLATE.

And when I say chocolate, I mean chocolate.  We're not messing around here.

Yes, that is TEN POUNDS of gourmet chocolate.  And yes, it is taking up the entire cutting board.

When I saw that 10 lb. block, my life seriously flashed before my eyes.  And you know what I learned?  That one of those is maybe a tenth of all the chocolate I've consumed in my life.  Probably less than a tenth.  I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.  No, it's good.

So then you melt that chocolate, roll the maple fondant into small balls, and dip it into the extremely delicious chocolate.  The worst part is you do it with your fingers, and they get all chocolatey, and every time you stop you have to lick them off (and then wash them, of course!).

This is what the finished product looks like:

Voila, delicious chocolates!  Handmade!  By me!

(Actually, the two above were probably Rachelle's - they look way too beautiful to be mine)

Thus far, I'm really enjoying my chocolate making experience.  I only have two disappointments.  

1) Rachelle did not slap me and slather my face in chocolate.

 

Sad, because I really would have enjoyed that.

2) I did not work on a chocolate wrapping assembly line in which I was forced to shove large quantities of chocolate in my mouth, in my hat, and down my shirt in order to keep up.

But I did sneak a few when Rachelle went and picked up her kids' carpool. :)

P.S. You are welcome to come over and watch I Love Lucy reruns with me.  Just bring some chocolate.

Just for you: