The Roller Coaster of Pregnancy

Yes, I think that is the best description of pregnancy.  A roller coaster.  It could also be summed up in the words to this familiar song . . . "you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down."

So let me tell you about the recent ups and downs on my pregnancy roller coaster adventure.

Down: I've been really sad recently thinking about how much less time I'm going to be able to spend with Kate.  Don't get me wrong - I'll still be at home with her all day, but it won't be just me and her, hanging out, playing, laughing, napping, etc.  I've become so sentimental about this that recently I let her watch a little extra tv, just so I get some time to hold and cuddle her.  Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones overemphasizing the negative.

Up: Every time I see a little baby I get SOOOOOO excited.  A baby that will actually hold still, that won't try and kick you and run away when you change their diaper, and that will take naps on your chest.  Aaah.  Can't wait.

Down: How horrible I feel 90% of the time.  I feel like I'll never have energy again, never go a day without heartburn, never be able to brush my teeth without my gums bleeding, and never be able to sleep through the night without having to get up and go to the bathroom six times.  This pregnancy has been WAY harder on my body than the first one.

Up: I can't wait to see Kate as a big sister!  I know that she is going to be so awesome, and I can't wait to see her in action - she really is so sweet, and can already say, "Emma" perfectly.  Can't wait for two little girls!  Bring on the tea parties!

Down: Will this baby ever come????  I know that technically it's 4 weeks until my due date, but hey, I'm getting impatient here.  I feel like I'll be fat . . . forever, and ever . . . no hallelujah, no halleljuah!  Kate was born two weeks early, so I already feel that if this baby comes a day after October 10, I'm getting the short end of the stick.  Which isn't good, because what are the chances of me getting lucky two times in a row?  Not good.

Up: Labor - on the one hand I think it's going to be awesome and exciting going au naturale - my sister-in-law described it as a real "high."

Down: Labor - what was I thinking?  All that pain and no epidural?  Ugggh.  I hurt already.  My sister-in-law is certifiably insane.

Up: Well, at least I'll be getting some free meals out of this thing.

You know how it is.  The roller coaster of pregnancy.  There must be something to it, because where my (semi) flat stomach once was, now resides a large bump, resembling the up and down of a roller coaster . . .

Never 21

The actual title of this post was supposed to be

Forever Never 21

but they don't let you do strikethrough in a title.  Another thing to be angry about.

Now I better just warn you that I'm still quite upset.  Maybe I should wait until this is a month behind me and I'm not so angry.  No, that wouldn't be as interesting.

Try using a quote from "Runaway Bride" to try calm me down.

"I don't blame you for being mad.  Or furious.  Irate?"

"Livid."

Deep breath Heidi.  Inhale.  Exhale.

This is me.

Let's get straight to my story . . . several weeks ago Kate and I went on a little jaunt to the mall to look for a new coat for mommy.  After trying several other stores, we headed into Forever 21, and found quite a good selection.  I tried on a few, and found a gray one in a style that I liked.  Still not sure though, I decided to buy it, take it home and get Dave's opinion, and then decide for sure.

{Dave said, "That looks just like your other coat."  Note to husbands: that is not exactly what your wife wants to hear.  But that's not the point of this post.  After wearing it for a few more minutes I decided it was too itchy around the neck anyway, and I decided to return it.}

I take the coat back, in the bag, with the receipt, and the girl is very helpful.  "Is anything wrong with the coat?" she asks in a very chipper voice.

"No," I reply, "I just decided I don't want it." 

"Great," she says, "would you like to exchange it?"  

"No thanks," I say.

"Okay, then I can give you store credit."

"No, I just want my money back."  

"Well I'm afraid we don't give cash refunds.  We only do exchanges or store credit."

"Well, I don't see anything that says that," I answer back, starting to get a little annoyed.

"It's on your receipt," she says smugly, pointing to the no cash refund policy at the bottom of my receipt in small print.

"Oh, the receipt I received after I'd already paid for the coat?"  I question, just as smugly.

"Oh, well there's a sign right here . . . well, I'm not sure where it is right now, but it's always right here on the counter."

"Well, I didn't see it." 

After this runaround continues for a few more minutes, I finally ask for the manager.  The sales rep looks relieved, and runs to grab the manager.

"Yes, how can I help you?"  The manager gives me a very condescending look as if she's dealt with people like me a hundred times.

"Yes, I want to return this coat, and I want a cash refund, not store credit."

"Well, we don't do refunds.  It says that at the bottom of the receipt."

"Oh, the receipt I received after I'd already paid for the coat?"  Sound familiar?  And then, I kid you not . . . she said - 

"Oh, well there's a sign right here . . . well, I'm not sure where it is right now, but it's always right here on the counter."

"Well obviously it isn't always right here," I say, and now I'm really getting mad.  Furious.  Let's just skip irate and go straight to livid.

She looks at the bottom of my receipt and says, "Besides, Jason ran your transaction - he's our head cashier, so I'm sure he would have mentioned it."

Did no one teach this lady that the customer is a guest?  They have a wallet?  They can choose where to spend their money?  That you actually want a customer to return?  Because I've never worked in retail, but I thought that was pretty obvious.

"Well, he didn't."

The lady wouldn't budge and insisted that since the day Forever 21 opened its doors 25 years ago they've always had a no cash-refund policy.  The cash register won't even give cash refunds, she insisted.  The encounter ended with me angrily grabbing the gift card with store credit in it for the price of the coat and leaving in a huff.  Yep, I left in a huff.  I like that phrase, and it perfectly describes how I felt.

But this was not over.  I talked to Dave about it and he called Forever 21 (he's better at intimidating people than I am).  I'm not sure how he does it, but he is very good at talking people into things, including me.  When he called in to Forever 21 headquarters, a district manager agreed to call him this past Tuesday, meet us at the store, and give us a cash refund.

No wait, this gets better.  It's now late Thursday night, practically Friday.  No call.  But we're not quitting until we get our money back.  In the meantime, I'll just rant and rave in the blogosphere.

And may I just take a moment to rant and rave about stores that don't give cash refunds?  To me that says, "We don't sell quality products" loud and clear.  In fact, because they don't sell quality products, they have no faith in their own merchandise, which is why they don't give cash refunds.  They believe that given the choice, you'll take your cash and spend it elsewhere, which is why they'll only do exchanges or give you store credit.  And they'll put that policy at the bottom of a receipt in small print, and they'll hide the signs that are supposed to be at the checkout counter.  Grrr. 

I'll keep you updated.  In the meantime, you should join with me in my boycott of Forever 21.

My Mom Resume

I don't know if anyone else has had to put up with this, but every once in awhile, you run into somone that thinks being a stay-at-home mom has got to be the most boring and easy thing in the world.  After slugging them in the face, I want to let them have at it for one day, just to see how they'd do . . . there is a great I Love Lucy episode about that, by the way. 

Well, if any of you reading this believe that to be true, let me just set the record straight.  My mind is not rotting.  I don't bore myself to tears every day.  And I certainly don't sit around with my feet up while doing my nails.  I am improving myself.  In fact, I'm constantly learning new things and developing my talents.  And I made a mom resume to prove it.

Heidi M. Kimball

Occupation: Mother

Education: High school diploma, Bachelors from BYU, 9 months on-the-job training

Experience: 9 months

Skills:

- Professional grape peeler: Can peel and cut up a grape into small pieces that babies won't choke on in 10 seconds flat.  Can even do so under the pressure of a baby yelling for more and banging hands on the high chair.

- Can perform most tasks one-handed.  This includes undressing a baby, grocery shopping, making a bottle, vaccuming, and doing my hair.

- Car seat buckler: Can fasten baby in a car seat in 15 seconds, even when baby is yelling, wiggling, and arching back.  Side note: this is not easy.

- Multi-tasker: Can keep house relatively clean while simultaneously making sure baby does not choke, swallow hazardous material, fall down stairs, electrocute self, or get injured in some other manner.

- Sleep charmer: Can get baby to sleep even when baby is determined to stay awake, and is determined to make you feel like a bad person for wanting the baby to take a nap for their own good.

- Very funny: Can make numerous weird faces and noises to entertain and distract baby in all types of situations including: at church (when baby is two hours overdue for a nap), after baby falls down and gets hurt, during long trips in the car, in the grocery store checkout line, when baby is starving, etc.

- Other sleep skills: Can perform most tasks while still asleep, and perform most tasks on little to no sleep.

So there you have it.  I am a professional mom, and proud of it!

My Transition to Motherhood

Kate turns nine months old this week.  It is rather mind boggling.  Sometimes it feels like I've been a mom forever, and at the same time, it feels like I'm still brand-new at this.  So, I decided to sit down and write about a few of the things I've learned and a few of the ways I've changed since becoming a mother.

Change #1:  Less consumed with myself.  I might as well just come right out and admit it.  I was probably pretty dang selfish before I had Kate.  And I'm probably only slightly less selfish now, but hey, it's still a big change.  It's actually pretty wonderful being forced to think about someone else and their needs constantly, rather than thinking about yourself and what you want all the time.  And of course, marriage helps with that too, but when it comes right down to it, you can be as selfish (hence the high divorce rate) or as unselfish as you want in marriage.  Not so in parenthood.  And it's actually a beautiful thing.  It's no wonder the Lord wants us to have children - they help us to progress at an infinitely faster rate.  Now don't get me wrong, sometimes it is hard, and sometimes I'm sure I resent it a little, but on the whole I love it and I love how it is changing me.

Lesson #1:  Being a mother has actually really helped me better understand my relationship to Heavenly Father.  I sometimes make the mistake of thinking of God as full of justice, and forget the mercy part of the equation.  Of course, in those instances, I can never measure up, never be perfect enough, or righteous enough, or good enough.  But being a mother has helped me to better understand my Heavenly Father and how He views me.  I don't get upset or angry or frustrated at Kate when she falls down, or when she bonks her head, or when she doesn't know how to clap.  And I have come to understand that Heavenly Father doesn't get angry when I make mistakes, or don't know how to do certain things, or when I'm just learning something.  I believe that He must look down on us and see us more as babies, who are just learning and experiencing and figuring out life.  And more than anything, He wants to help us pick ourselves up, or hold us, or lovingly teach us.  I love that.  And I think that becoming a mother is the only way I truly could have learned that.

Change #2:  Different view of my husband.  Of course I love Dave, I mean, I did marry him.  But I'm not sure I expected that us becoming parents would help me to love him more.  There are two sides to this - first, I think that becoming a parent actually makes you more capable of loving your spouse.  Somehow, when you love your child, it also expands your love for your spouse.  I'm not sure how that works, but it does.  And second, I think that seeing Dave as a dad has helped me to see him in a whole different light, and I love him because of that new role.  I love watching him play with Kate, and kiss her, and cuddle her.  It's so incredible!  I love the dad that Dave is to Kate.

Lesson #2:  Don't sweat the small stuff.  This might be the oldest lesson in the book, but there is a reason it is there.  Sometimes babies spit-up all over their whole outfit right before you were supposed to walk out the door.  What do you do?  Change them and get wherever you were going a little late.  That's life with a baby, and you just have to roll with the punches.  Not to say that I'm perfect at it, it still stresses me out some days, especially depending on what we're late for.  But it is an important lesson to be learned.  Some days you won't get a shower.  Some days the laundry won't get done.  But your family is the most important thing, so cherish them - even in those "moments."  For example, Kate pooped on me when we were getting these pictures taken :)  

Change #3:  Desire to create.  This one was totally unexpected, and it may not be the case for every new mom.  But all of the sudden, I want to MAKE things.  I used to think, "I'll never bake bread, sew, or make cards."  Not only did I not think I could, I didn't WANT to.  But now I do.  I want to make things for Kate, I want to make my home beautiful.  It's the coolest thing, and I love it.  It brought to mind a talk given by President Uchtdorf at the General Relief Society meeting.  Here's what he said, "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty . . . The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."  To read more of the talk, click here!

Well, I don't want to get too long-winded, but it was nice to take the time to sit and reflect and realize what I've learned and how I've changed over these last nine months.  I would love to hear what you've learned and changed since becoming a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, etc!

I'm so lucky that I get to be the mother of this beautiful girl!