I'm going to change your life today. Yep, I am. Now people out there will tell you all sorts of things about what you need to know to be a good parent - techniques for feeding your child, getting your child on a good schedule, putting your child to sleep, disciplining your child, etc. Compared to what I'm going to teach you, it's nothing. Let me tell you what will actually be the most useful thing to you as a parent: counting to 10. Now, now, don't get overwhelmed just yet. I know it sounds daunting, but it's a skill that can be mastered by most, if not all of you. And let me explain the many reasons it just might save your sanity.
#1 - JUST TEN THINGS. Let me explain. When you're a parent, you're going to be overwhelmed. There's no use trying to avoid it because you're just going to be. Some days will be worse than others. If you have a two-year-old there might be many overwhelming days in a row. Especially if they like to change outfits 10 times a day. And throw tantrums if you don't let them. I could go on. But most days you will just be trying to survive - and if the kids are alive at the end of the day you're feeling really good about yourself. On those days, your house will probably be a disaster. And on those days, it will feel like nothing you do will make any difference.
So here's what you do: you say to yourself, "Self, I can put away 10 things. Just 10. Easy peasy." And you do it. And then you give yourself a break. Maybe even a 10 minute one (if you can call chasing down your two-year-old who is attacking the couches with her peanut-butter covered hands a break). And then you do ten more. And break. And again. Seriously, I can't tell you how many days I've survived with this tactic. Somehow, when you break things up into 10s, they are so much more manageable. And, on days that are a little less overwhelming, I sometimes work for 10 minutes at a time. I know, I know, I'm impressive. Just take it slow.
#2 - COUNTING BOOKS. I bet you've never even thought of this, but, as a parent, there will come a day when you'll be reading your child some sort of counting book. Whether it's Thumper Counts to Ten or My Little Counting Book, at some point that big moment is going to arrive. And let's be honest, it's going to be awkward if you don't know how to count to 10.
#3 - COUNTING TO TEN. Not. Remember that funny little addage, "Before you react, count to ten." Um, yeah right. When your blood is boiling because your child just did something very naughty, you feel lucky if you can even remember your own name, let alone stop and remember to count to ten. (Isn't it funny how you always remember their name though, yelling it out full blast, middle name included?) But I can imagine that if you could remember, counting to ten would be very useful in this situation as well.
#4 - START BY COUNTING TO THREE. Here's the good news: if you haven't mastered counting to ten yet, you will not be losing sleep at night. Parenting can basically cure the strongest cases of insomnia. So don't worry about counting lots of sheep - you'll probably only make it to 3 before you're conked out.
#5 - COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. When life seems most overwhelming, don't forget to count your blessings. You have to be a real master at counting if you want to attempt this one. Because chances are, you'll be counting a lot higher than ten. Here are two of mine:
